Readings for the Wedding of Joanna Lyn Walling and David Michael Odorisio
“from what are you running, my brother?” poem by Jonathan Montaldo
“Love and Need” by Thomas Merton
“Love is our true destiny. We do not find the meaning of life by ourselves alone – we find it with another. We do not discover the secret of our lives merely by study and calculation in our own isolated meditations. The meaning of our life is a secret that has to be revealed to us in love, by the one we love. If this love is unreal, the secret will not be found, the meaning will never reveal itself, the message will never be decoded. We will never be fully real until we let ourselves fall in love.”
“When Death Comes” by Mary Oliver
This sermon was preached at the Wedding of David and Joanna on November 2, 2024 at The Ranch House in Ojai CA.
These three readings, selected by David and Joanna, remind us that today death comes: death comes to David as a single man and to Joanna as a single woman; but we do not grieve because the joy of the new life of this sacred union far surpasses any loss.
The readings remind us of the great mystery at the center of this sacrament: Christians call it the Paschal Mystery. Jesus called it “the Sign of Jonas.” And Krishnamurti, who preached right up the hill here, described this mystery when he said, “Dying is part of living. You cannot love without dying, dying to everything which is not love, dying to all ideals which are the projection of your own demands…so that you know what love means and therefore what living means.”[1]
Today we lay to rest the lonely freedom of souls who now choose to give themselves fully to each other and who now stop running away from the pain of loving and the fear of staying. Today these two souls become more fully real as they plunge themselves into the joy of self-giving love “in order to be transformed by what Zen [Buddhism] calls the ‘Great Death’ and Christianity calls ‘dying and rising with Christ.’”[2] This is the great mystery we all get to bear witness to in the joining together of David and Joanna on this Feast Day of All Souls when, according to the ancient Celts, the veil between heaven and earth, the veil between our deceased ancestors and ourselves, becomes most permeable. Our ancestors, who understand the mystery of resurrection and new life better than anyone, are with us now. Mary Oliver, Krishnamurti, and Thomas Merton are with us now, blessing us not only with their words but also with their benevolent presence.
In a few moments, as we all bear witness to the solemn vows of marriage, I invite you all to call to mind at least one ancestor, at least one of the faithful departed, whose presence can join you today in blessing David and Joanna, in showering them both with our love, and prayers, and affection, and grace; so that David and Joanna can both live more fully into the meaning of their names: David the Beloved and Joanna the bearer and receiver of Grace. Take a moment to call to mind that ancestor now, here at the Ojai Ranch House, where the spirits of Krishnamurti and Aldous Huxley have left their mark, along with the spirits of inspired guests like John Lennon, who may have written the beloved song “Grow Old with Me” right here. So, David and Joanna, here in the presence of the ancestors and spirits, may you receive the promise of that song, that the “best is yet to be. Your time has come. You will be as one. May God bless your love.”[3]
In this love and in this sacrament, Joanna as a single woman dies and becomes reborn as a bride married to amazement, “amazement” that is embodied in David. In this love and in this sacrament, David as a single man dies and becomes reborn as a bridegroom who takes the world, embodied in Joanna, into his arms. Today, they both pass through a death, which is a gateway to greater life, and they both become more fully real as partners in a loving and sacred union.
Although I am officiating this wedding, I am not performing this sacrament. The sacrament of holy matrimony is performed by David and Joanna as they make their solemn vows. All of you have made a promise to uphold these two in their new shared life; and so, your responsibility is to do whatever you can to help them both remain true to the vows they now make.
[1] Jiddu Krishnamurti, The Flight of the Eagle: Authentic Report of Talks and Discussions in Lond, Amsterdam, Paris, and Saanen, Switzerland (New York: Perennial Library, 1973),77.
[2] Thomas Merton, Thoughts on the East (New York: New Directions, 1995),41.
[3] John Lennon, “Grow Old With Me,” track 11 from Milk and Honey, Polydor, 1984. For more on Lennon’s visit to Ojai, see https://www.ojaihub.com/4874/.
DANIEL DeFOREST LONDON 