Readings for the Wedding of Valerie Jean Budig Markin and David Arthur Tschoepe
Song of Solomon 2:10 – 13; 8:6 – 7
Psalm 67
Tobit 8:5b – 8
1 Corinthians 13:1 – 13
John 15:9 – 12
This sermon was preached at the Wedding of David and Valerie on Saturday January 20, 2024 at Christ Episcopal Church in Eureka CA
May I speak in the name of the Lover, the Beloved, and the Love Overflowing. Amen.
Today, we celebrate and we bless and we bear witness to the union of David and Valerie, whose friendship and love have been rooted in patient humility, self-giving service and a shared heartfelt commitment to the Church, the Bride of Christ, in her many manifestations. I remember first learning about Valerie over three years ago from David who described her as an amazing woman actually “an amazing gal” he said who is also quite humble considering her many accomplishments and after many wonderful conversations their friendship blossomed into romantic love and the two of them today bring together two different families as well as multiple faith communities: at least two Episcopal congregations, Christ Church Eureka, St. Albans Arcata and we probably have people watching from Saint Paul’s in Crescent City, a Presbyterian Lutheran congregation (Grace Good Shepherd in McKinleyville) as well as members of the Jewish faith community and an indigenous community. And over the last three weeks we were announcing their wedding in publishing the Banns of Marriage here at Christ Church and people from the congregation responded with impromptu blessings. So, David and Valerie have already received blessings from a local artist, a Presbyterian pastor, a Canadian Anglican who also identifies as Scottish, and an Anglo-Baptist who is one of our ushers today. And today they will receive many more blessings because I invite you all right now to offer a personal blessing to David and Valerie. You could even write down the blessing and share it with them later, but I invite you right now to pray that blessing in the silence of your heart. We access our heart sense simply by placing our hand on our hearts. I invite you to do that now. Offer your own personal blessing to David and Valerie. And David and Valerie, receive these blessings: May you be happy, may you be healthy, may you bask in each other’s love, may you abide in that love.
The name Valerie means “healthy” and “strong” which is also the meaning of David’s middle name Arthur. So, it is wholly appropriate for us to pray for them both to remain healthy and strong and for their bond of love to remain healthy and strong in the years to come. And one poem that just came to mind as we were hearing the readings, especially the reading from the book of Tobit. It’s a long poem inspired by a rabbi and it was the inspiration for a John Lennon song. It begins with just these words: “Grow old along with me. The best is yet to be.”[1] The name David means “beloved.” So, may you both find health and strength as you abide in your belovedness in each other’s eyes and in God’s eyes.
Along with celebrating and blessing this union today, we also bear witness to the sacrament of Holy Matrimony. As witnesses, all of you are integral participants in this holy sacrament which is not performed by me. It’s not performed by a priest. I’ll celebrate the Eucharist, but I do not perform the sacrament of holy matrimony. That sacrament will be performed by David and Valerie as they make their vows. They are the true ministers of the sacrament as they give themselves to each other with the joining of hands and the giving and receiving of rings. This marriage cannot happen without you all as witnesses, who have been exhorted and who have responded with essentially a promise to do all in your power to uphold them in their marriage. That is so important. So, as we bear witness to you David and Valerie, may you too bear witness to each other and behold each other’s beauty. In the Jewish wedding liturgy, there’s a moment when the two say to each other, “You are now holy to me.” You’ve been set apart as holy to one another. You are now one. Well, you will be in just a few moments. Let’s not get ahead of ourselves.
During our premarital meetings and preparations for this service David and Valerie and I read through a book titled Bond and Covenant: A Perspective on Holy Matrimony from the Book of Common Prayer. Inspired by their love for learning, I suggested that we read the book together. I had never done it with a couple before, but I personally learned a lot as a result. As an enthusiast of medieval English spirituality, I was excited to learn with them about the medieval English custom and belief associated with the wedding ring. Before the ring was placed on the ring finger, the trinitarian formula was recited by the groom who prayed to the Father while placing the ring first on the bride’s thumb, and then to the Son the index finger, to the Holy Spirit on the next finger, and then “Amen,” when it was placed on the ring finger where it remained. And the reason it was placed on the ring finger is because there was this medieval belief that there was a vein that runs directly from that finger to the heart, the vein of love, the vena amoris as it was called in Latin.[2] Although apparently there is no such vein, I still love the sentiment because that is what the rings represent: the fusing together of two hearts, two hearts that beat as one. And the Gospel reading the couple chose for this service is from a portion of John’s Gospel that invites us to get in touch with our heart sense by abiding in God’s love and in our love for each other. The Gospel of John is apparently David’s favorite of the four gospels and the name “John” is the root from which Valerie’s middle name Jean is derived, which both come from the Hebrew Yochanan which means “God’s overflowing grace.” God’s overflowing grace. May we be showered by that grace today. I remember a teacher of mine from the charismatic Pentecostal tradition told me that 99% of the time when it rains that’s God’s blessing being poured out upon us. So, receive the rain today as God’s blessing. Saint John, the author of the gospel whose name means God’s overflowing grace, is also known as the beloved disciple of Jesus. And according to again English medieval legend, it was at John’s wedding that Jesus adorned this manner of life and performed his first miracle by turning water into wine at Cana of Galilee. And according to legend, the bride at that wedding was Mary Magdalene. John is also known for resting upon the bosom of Jesus at the Last Supper where he was, according to the Celtic Christians, listening to the heartbeat of Christ.
David and Valerie, I invite you tonight and in the many nights to abide in God’s love by reclining on each other’s bosom and by listening to each other’s heartbeat. You two have made your hearts utterly vulnerable to each other out of a deep and abiding trust. You will now promise to protect and cherish each other’s hearts more than anything else. Take some time to listen to each other’s heartbeat tonight and in the many nights to come. By doing so, you will be abiding in the One who gave you to each other. You are a gift that God gave to each other, the God whose grace overflows and the God whose heart beats with you and for you. We love you. I love you. We bless you. We celebrate you and we thank you. We all thank you for giving us the honor and privilege and joy of bearing witness to this union, for bringing us all together as you become one in the presence of family and friends and faith communities, the Church and the God who graciously blesses you with health and strength and joy and ever abiding love. Amen? Amen.
[1] “Grow old along with me! The best is yet to be, the last of life, for which the first was made: Our times are in His hand Who saith, ‘A whole I planned, Youth shows but half; trust God: see all, nor be afraid!” Robert Browning, Rabbi Ben Ezra. https://poets.org/poem/rabbi-ben-ezra
[2] “In medieval England…as the groom recited the Trinitarian formula, he placed the ring on the bride’s thumb when mentioning the Father, on the index finger when citing the Son, on the next finger when speaking of the Spirit, and, at the ‘Amen,’ onto the ‘ring finger.’ There it remained, for it was believed (erroneously) that a vein ran from that finger to the heart.” George Harford & Morley Stevenson, eds., Prayer Book Dictionary (New York: Longmans, Green, & Co., 1912), 623. George S. Tyack, Lore and Legend of the English Church (London: William Andrews & Co., 1899), 192f., as cited in R. David Cox, Bond and Covenant: A Perspective on Holy Matrimony from the Book of Common Prayer (New York: Church Publishing, 1999), 58.
DANIEL DeFOREST LONDON 