Readings for the Wedding of Raymond Kevin O’Connor Jr. and Wÿnanda Heyward Bulkley Armas:
Song of Solomon 2:10-13; 8:6-7
Colossians 3:12-17
Matthew 5:13-16
This sermon was preached at the Wedding of Kevin and Wÿnanda on Saturday September 1, 2018 at Grace Cathedral in San Francisco, CA
I speak in the Name of God the Creator, the Redeemer and the Sustainer. Amen.
Today we celebrate the beginning of the life-long union between Kevin and Wÿnanda, two beautiful, bright, and radiant lovers of God who passionately love each other; two souls that intentionally decided to make their marriage vows here in a place called Grace, surrounded by the love of friends and family, including family members who have deceased, whom they love but see no longer.
We Episcopalians understand Holy Matrimony as a sacrament in which two people enter into a life-long union, make their vows before God and the Church, and receive from God the grace to help them fulfill their vows. Grace is an important idea for Kevin and Wynanda, who reminded me of Barack Obama’s eloquent definition of grace as the “free and benevolent favor of God manifested in the…bestowal of blessings.”[1] Although we cannot earn grace, it is a gift that inspires us to express gratitude and to prove ourselves worthy of the gift. God has showered Kevin with his amazing grace by bringing Wynanda into his life; and God has showered Wynanda with amazing grace by bringing Kevin into her life.
On their own, Wynanda and Kevin are wonderfully gifted individuals through whom God expresses his love and creativity. However, it seems clear to me that God really wants to dazzle the world with his love and grace by bringing these two together as life partners and beloved companions. The Scripture readings they chose for this day, which revolve around the images of salt and fire, confirm this intuition.
They chose the Gospel reading in which Jesus says, “You are the salt of the earth” (Matthew 5:13). Now I am no chemist, but I do know that salt is a compound of two different elements – sodium and chlorine—which are both powerful independent of one another, and yet also potentially over-reactive on their own. Salt can be explosive with water and chlorine can be fatal as a gas. But when these two elements form a bond, they become one of the most beneficial resources for all of humanity.
Now I am not saying that either of you are over-reactive or explosive individually. I certainly have not experienced you that way, but I am saying that when you two form a union (as you are doing today) you become an instrument of God’s grace far more effective than anything you could even imagine being on your own. Together, you two become a force of peace that preserves and purifies and adds zest to life. We season our food with salt not only to keep it from spoiling but to bring out the food’s true flavor. We salt our food not to make it taste salty but rather to unleash upon our taste buds the hidden and dormant flavors of the dish; to make it taste the way God meant it to taste. You two function in that way for each other as you draw out hidden characteristics in one another, parts of yourselves you didn’t even know were there. You help each other discover and become your truest and fullest selves. But more than that, as a loving partnership, you help others become their truest selves in your presence. You two together, as the salt of the earth, help bring out the world’s true flavor, which God intended when he first called creation not just “good” but “very good” (Genesis 1:31). You two together help us all see the reservoir of grace of goodness in the world and in ourselves. In Mark’s Gospel, Jesus says, “Everyone will be salted with fire” (Mark 9:49). May everyone here and everyone you meet be salted with the fire of your love.
Again, I am not a chemist, but I have seen sodium and chlorine combine to form salt; and when they do, their chemical reaction creates a spectacular and brilliant flash of fire. Wynanda and Kevin also chose a reading from the most erotic book of the Bible, the Song of Solomon, which says, “[Love’s] flashes are flashes of fire, a raging flame. Many waters cannot quench love, neither can floods drown it” (Song of Solomon 8:6b – 7a). The Holy Spirt, which is often symbolized as fire, is present in the fiery and passionate love that you two feel for one another. Let that fire of love shine like a city on a hill. Display your love proudly so that others may give glory to the divine source of all Love, your Father in heaven. Let that fire of love form and refine you. And let that fire of love brand both your hearts with a permanent seal.
And remember to keep tending that fire and fanning its flames, especially during those inevitable seasons of challenge and difficulty when your passion and affection for one another might feel diminished or doused. In Paul’s letter to the Colossians, he provides practical ways to keep tending that fire of love. He says, “Clothe yourselves with compassion, kindness, humility and patience. Forgive each other…let the peace of Christ rule in your hearts. And be thankful. Sing psalms, hymns and spiritual songs” (Colossians 3:12 – 13, 16). I would add, “Sing songs to each other. Read each other poetry. Bring coffee to each other in bed. Take afternoons off. Go on weekend outings. Leave love notes for each other. Have fun. Say, ‘I love you’ every day. Practice empathy. Learn something new from one another each day. Deepen your trust.”
In the next chapter, Paul says to the Colossians, “Let your speech always be full of grace and seasoned with salt.” (4:6). Keep bringing out the best in each other through your words and deeds so that you two together can bring out the world’s true flavor and reveal the reservoir of goodness in everyone you meet. Paul concludes his letter to the Colossians with four words: “Grace be with you.” As you dazzle the world with your unbreakable bond and salt the earth, and everyone in it, with the fire of your love, remember that your marriage vows were made and your union established, in the presence of friends and family in a place called grace, a place named after “the free and benevolent favor of God.” Grace be with you indeed. Amen.
[1] “According to the Christian tradition, grace is not earned. Grace is not merited. It’s not something we deserve. Rather, grace is the free and benevolent favor of God — as manifested in the salvation of sinners and the bestowal of blessings. Grace.” Barack Obama, Eulogy for the Reverend Clementa C. Pinckney at the College of Charleston in Charleston South Carolina, June 26, 2015. https://www.americanrhetoric.com/speeches/barackobama/barackobamaclementapinckneyeulogy.htm
DANIEL DeFOREST LONDON 